Kiddos Say - Blending Families

Initially this post was going to be about blending families but I thought since it started with something the 'kiddos' said it needed to be in that category as well, because the blog will now feature kiddos and what the Kiddos Say (as we have become a house hold of three brilliant, witty, creative little brains instead of one).

Blending our family will also be a common theme.  I toiled on sharing such an intimate and personal experience with the web.  But after researching, reading, scanning other blogs and articles - I realized that this is an important subject and ANY information (good, bad or challenging) is appreciated (particularly by me).

So, what did the kiddos say?  Let me preface this with the fact that our kids - say just about anything.  And I absolutely ADORE the fact that they will ask us any question, no matter how awkward, difficult or off-putting it may be.  So....

MR:  'Daddy? Ms. Chelsea? Bubby is my real brother and Soren is my step-brother.  Right?'
Me: Stammering for the right words (which I've now learned is horrible.  Be 110% on these valuable responses.  They travel a long way and being completely sure is incredibly important for not only the kids, but yourself), my husband interjects - beautifully.
Trent:  'No.  Soren is your real brother.  You are all brothers.  This is our family.  Bubby is your biological brother.'
MR:  'What is biological?'
And so proceeds that conversation - with ALL the children listening intently.

And this is just how we treat them.  Trent and I talk about this just about every evening (also critical, you must be on the SAME page when blending families with children).  How we are doing, how are the kids coping, how are they developing - the good and challenging, what can we do better (and then we chuckle about their 'isms', discuss their beautiful individuality and complimentary behaviors).  We want them to create a bond.  It's so important to us.  So we treat them like brothers.  Because that is what they are.  No less.  And Soren?  He's elated.  To say he loves having brothers is an understatement.  Not that they don't fight!  And trust me, they do - like boys.  

But how Trent approached this question was brilliant.  He was patient and understanding.  Calm and sure.  I was so grateful he was there in that moment and it didn't take me long to put together how and who he may have had in mind.  Himself with his brothers and sisters.  My husband was adopted by two incredible people and a warm, loving family.  And I couldn't see them handling this discussion any differently.  His siblings are his real siblings.  His parents are his parents.  Period.  It's that simple.  

Being a part of this family - I see it.  As an outsider coming in.  You would never know it any other way.  I hope for that with our kids.  That they will have that bond and we are strong enough to help harness that for them.

Crutcher Inc. Wedding

We got hitched!

Although, technically - we were married October 20, 2015.  Which, the three boys have decided, is our family birthday.  We became family of five, brood of three 5-year old energetic, wise, incredible wee gents, us two crazy 'rents and a very crotchety old lady pit bull (so 6, I guess.  Kind of 7, a beta fish named Mr. Pokey Grass and a cat, Mr. Kamaji that does not reside with us quite yet).  

The wedding was perfect - in my extremely biased opinion.  Seriously though.  It was us.  So us.  Trent and I, the boys.  Our amazing family.  

We kept it small - immediate family and close friends.  Our wedding parties consisted of two people.  Trent's best childhood friend and myself - the untraditional Man of Honor.  My brother.  Our kiddos walked each of us down the aisle (2 ninjas and a pirate) and we were married by Trent's father.  My Dad gave the most beautiful speech.  My brother made me cry over Eli's with sentiment and genuine care and happiness for the occasion.  Mo - made our guts hurt with hilarity and honest adoration for his best friend.

We are a lucky family.  We have friends that pitched in (Stephanie, the photos are AMAZING, Amelia, my make-up was unreal and the video.  Seriously - I can't stop watching it, Nick - your playing was truly perfect.), family that donated time, money and aid (Derek, seriously, the wedding toppers?  Best bro ever?!!!, Mom and Dad - you know I can't thank you enough.  Thank you! Thank you!, and Keith and Jennifer and the entire Crutcher clan - I could not be luckier!).

*hover over the photo for description.  photos courtesy of Stephanie Frantz.

So needless to say - much gratitude coming from this side of the post.  We accompanied the wedding with Eli's BBQ, a gorgeous and delicious Haven Cake, flowers by Una Floral - including my crown and Fitz's Soda from St. Louis.  I'll stop chatting and let the pics speak for themselves. 

*Yes, the boys are in costume.  So were the majority of the other kiddos.  It's there day too!

And because extended family couldn't be there, we have this with many thanks to Amelia!

Soren Says...

Soon to be kiddos say.  Because trust me, some of their conversations are priceless and considerably wise.  Only 5 years of life and their ability to create - not just projects, crafts and games but ideas, theories and genuine conversation is astounding.  

This one, however is a Soren says.  But about the three.  

Blending families has it's challenges, but definitely it's tribulations.  Soren hasn't had brothers until now and I worried about his transition into brotherhood and understanding what that truly meant.  

My brother and I were raised a specific way.  One that I am truly grateful for 'when you hurt your brother, you hurt yourself.  when you make him laugh, you experience the same joy.  there is no one else in this world you are closer to'.  And it worked.  He is my best friend; my man of honor at my wedding.  Trent and I feel the same way about the three.  

So, when we visited Mr. Madison at Findlay Market, the three and I - and Mr Madison greeted Soren with a smile saying:

'Oh!  Hi there Soren!  I see you brought your friends with you today!'

and Soren replied:

'No, Mr. Madison.  These are my brothers.  My twin brothers - Mayer and Marley!'

Then grabbing their hands, rushed off inside with his brothers.

My worries began to melt leaving me a puddle of content, happy mess.  Mr Madison smiled at me and said 'Congratulations!', putting it all together with a huge grin on his face and a hug.  

Brothers.

43-47/52

'A portrait a week of my children, once a week, every week, in 2015'

43/52 Nerf gun madness around here!  I have to admit, I am a fan myself.  They are a blast to play with!

44/52 Yep - another Nerf Gun day.  Featuring painted fingernails.  It took almost the whole month for it to completely chip off!  Same shirt repeat is a coincidence.  It's a Soren favorite as well.  Can't go wrong with Lego Star Wars

45/52 Soren's version of helping us change the brakes (I should say Trent) involves the Nerf gun. Of course.

46/52 this face.  After his 5th bday bash.  5 years since this wee man made me a mother.  I couldn't be more grateful and feel so incredibly lucky.  Soren has taught me so much about living life.  I can't thank you enough bubs.

47/52 the Museum Center!  We got out and went somewhere FUN!  Since the move we have been on an errand running, working constantly, shop creating streak and hadn't taken the kids somewhere FUN in awhile.  This was a much needed break for ALL of us.


Around Here - Changes

As you can see - we are experiencing some changes around here, literally.  In addition to our familial expansion, we've combined our web spaces.  

My Husband, Trent.  I guess I should stop there.  

Trent and I married on October 21st.  Although - according to the law, October 19th.  BUT (gets better), our wedding is December 14th (a Monday. I know.  But being a recording engineer for a major Symphony and commercial projects on the horizon doesn't leave you many options).  So why the marriage then the wedding, you ask?  Why not do it all at once?  Because.

No really, there is a long drawn out explanation, but I will spare the space (no babies on the horizon *wink).  Now happily hitched (gee-gads!!!), we are planning our December wedding and converging our cyberspaces (uh...).  

Trent owns an online card shop - The Gathering Site.  He sells Magic cards and will soon be selling 3 other types of fantasy playing cards.  I sense another furrowed brow.  For all those quick to judge, I dare you - play one round of Magic and you will realize quickly just how complicated the game actually is and the genius required to play. 

We hope next year to open our own physical space for the cards, but until then we are using this one and will soon be operating out of another shop.  I will continue blogging and helping grow the business.  I am so excited about these new changes and grateful I get to do them in partnership with such a wonderful person.  

Cheers.  To change.