Soren's First Day

Soren's first day was yesterday.  Wow.  This day came so much quicker than I had anticipated!

We've been talking about school with Soren since the Sands camp-out (to get him in, so worth the Montessori program).  He's been pumped since day one.  We found out a few days ago that we wouldn't be allowed to walk in with him *gasp.  After our initial shock, we started talking to Soren about what dropping him off would entail. 

None of it shocked him.  He was absolutely alright with it.  Yesterday, he told us as they started opening the doors - 'Mom, Dad, you can't go in with me.  This is MY school.  I love you!'  Gave us a quick hug and kiss, grabbed the TA's hand and took off.  Didn't even look back - so incredibly independent.

The 3 hours went on forever.  Rick and I dried our eyes at a breakfast for two (Sleepy Bee even felt for us and gave us a brownie on the house.  Thanks guys!!), snagged Soren a little 'first day' gift from King Arthurs and headed home - chatting about what amazing adventures are in store for our little man.  

I am thrilled to see what the next year will bring for Soren and the stories he will come home with.  He walked out yesterday with a bracelet around his wrist and a smile.  We sat waiting for him on the bench - first in line with his class ('A' Andress, of course) and the first thing we heard him say is 'Ms. Mitza, it's a beautiful day!'.  *tear.  He came out with his class, passed us and didn't miss a step.  He sat criss-cross applesauce with his class and waited to be dismissed.  Lots of sighs and tears - I am so happy for you little man and so proud I get to be your mother.

Motherhood : Passing Judgements

Oh, we moms.  You must admit - we can be SO judgmental (and Dad's too).

photo courtesy of http://singlemindedwomen.com

photo courtesy of http://singlemindedwomen.com

But what do our passing judgements really mean?  

I'm no saint, trust me and it took a certain person calling me out for me to realize exactly what my commentary meant.  And wow! has it provided me with some greatly needed - appreciated change in perspective.

We all do it - pass judgment on other parents and their parenting methods, but what I started doing was turning the mirror back on myself.  Why do I feel the necessity to judge?  What is it about my own insecurity that is causing me to feel the need to point out these differences? 

As soon I started doing that, wow did my perspective change.  Now I am not talking about passing judgments on the obvious things like, child neglect - abuse and those situations.  Those are obviously horrific and flat out impossible to imagine.  I am talking about the differences in choices like - formula feeding vs breastfeeding, making baby food, cloth diapering, attached parenting.  Those sorts of things.

It's not my place to tell these parents whats right for them, their community and how to read their children.  It's not my place to judge their decision based off a situation I am not even entirely educated on.  And more importantly - what is going on in my life to cause me to pass those judgements?  Have you ever thought of it that way?

I see a lot of passing judgement blogs about 'don't judge because your different' or 'we all parent differently' or 'all kids are different'.  Well yeah - duh.  That's a bit obvious.  Dive deeper than that.  You will judge, because we are all so different.  Don't kid yourself.  I encourage that when we do pass judgement or the urge comes about - detect it, and turn it about face quickly. 

Do an evaluation.  Because our judgements are 99.9% of the time about us.