and we are off!!! Hello Beach!! in just a few. Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the last of our summer. It's coming to close! This is a short one, gotta go pack!
what are your plans as your summer comes to a close? any last family re-treats or activities?
Now, I know - all mother's are working, whether or not they are employed - but that's not quite what I mean by 'working motherhood'. I am talking about being an employed mother. Being a parent is work - it's hard work, but I am sure most would join me in saying that it's very rewarding work. Not that the work I do at the station is not, but it is a very different kind of work that I have been struggling with since the birth of our son.
It's different? how so? Well, let me explain. Rick and I are both audio engineers, which means that both of us can not only work at home, but almost have to. Between unsuccesful child care research and staying on top of the industry, we are ALWAYS working - which for a momma, can prove to be very frustrating. Not that it isn't for Rick, but he has this wild ability to be absolutely in LOVE with the projects he is working on while still making time for us, his family. Although, I have to admit - he does get to work consistant hours at work and his side jobs are almost always scheduled around the same time. Me, however - not so much. I have the weirdest schedule. Sometimes I will work 3 weeks in a row without a day off, but those days will be 12 hours, 4 hours or 6 hour days... my psyche gets SO confused.
Worst part about it all - I just want to be home with Soren. Typical momma guilt? Not really - I would say, more so... momma needs.
Seriously?! How do you not want to hang out with this guy and color ALL day??
Obviously - this is something I have been struggling with for awhile. But things are changing. Since the blog, the podcast, the SLR and playing in photoshop - all the research, the work and finished projects, I am starting to remember what encouraged me to be an engineer in the first place. I am getting excited about work again - whether they are side projects, the blog or photography, best of all - I am finding ways to bring my son into it. Not just as the story, but my inspiration to do the work.
My family got me through it. I realize, looking back - my guys, Rick and Soren inspired me to push forward and I can't thank them enough. Rick sends me research and articles about working in photoshop, new blogging resources and even ideas for the podcast. Soren, well - it's simple. You are just a joy to be around and your never ending curiosity and confidence convince me I am capable of anything.
Thanks gents.
prepping for another adventure!!
Today, I realized something - to me anyway, very profound about motherhood. I think I may have known it all along, but it never spoke to me like it did today. No matter what I do, or how I say it, or what is in our schedule - if I put 100% into it, the turn around from Soren is always, ALWAYS double. He is my 200%. This is being a parent! The rewards - what we get back from our kids seems so much more than we could ever hope to put into it (I love it!).
Soren with his trains 'choo! choo!' :: giving 200% all the time is exhausting
The moment? We were winding down for the night - just had a bath, played puzzles with Monsters, Inc. in the background, drank some carrot juice, snacked on some grapes and then we headed over to the Lego table. I LOVE this Nilo table (Rick, honey - genius decision on your part). And so Soren and I play our usual, Momma makes a tower - Soren tears it down game and then I move on to the train. All I do is pour it out of the basket and he takes off. As I am watching him scoot around little cars, lift the bucket on the bulldozer and push it down saying 'beep, beep' in his adorable little voice, I realize it. I did what I could in that hour to have fun, stay busy - be creative and all I had really done is set the stage. Soren is doing all the imagining, he IS the show. He is such a joy to watch. To observe this little person make sense of this crazy world - it's awe inspiring.
His snuggles are 200%, his smiles are 200%, his laugh is 200% - he is my 200%. So, as usual - tomorrow I will set more stages and watch. In awe...
what are some of your outstanding parenting moments? those etched forever and/or leave you in awe?
Our family just took a plunge! After creating photos on our iPhones and 'point&shoots', finally purchased an SLR. After very long, tedious consideration (ask Rick - he and Soren suffered through all of it), we snagged ourselves a Nikon D3100 and couldn't be more pleased.
We started filling the SD card instantly with a visit to Lunken Playground. Oh my goodness! is this camera a joy to use. But because I am now toying with such an AMAZING tool (and I really shouldn't say toying - this thing is unbelievable! I now see the cross-comparison of photography to audio engineering) I wanted a program that would really allow me to edit and manipulate our images.
So I started with the obvious - a photoshop cs6 trial, which had quite the learning curve, but after a few tutorials online and forum questions, I started getting the hang of it - then came the sticker shock! That surely wasn't going to happen. If I was going to spend 700 bucks on software, it was going to be ProTools. Anyway, I then tripped on photoshop elements and this is what I got:
Pretty nice, right? So for 64 bucks I opted for elements and am really psyched to dive into it. I feel like, for the novice, it has just enough flexibility and photoshop tools to allow me to let my photo freak flag fly, but with the added benefit of having, say - a mentor standing behind you telling you exactly how to tweak that sharpness. This has to be the most fun I have had in ages with photography and oddly enough reminds me why I enjoy audio so much. Next - ProTools...for now, continued photo-shooting and blogging!
Cheers!
Soren asked me to rock him to sleep tonight. No, really - my wee toddler pointed to his rocker, grabbed my neck, tucked in his little legs as I picked him up and gave me a big snuggle-squeeze. I really didn't think that my heart could possibly grow any bigger, but it did tonight.
This week has been full of fun, but not without it's tough moments. Soren is learning how to sleep in his toddler bed, or rather - we are learning how to work with him on sleeping in his toddler bed. He has this tendency to wake up at about 3:30 in the morning and since he can wake up and roam around - he does. SO - we are working on getting him to fall back asleep.(whew!)
Basically - this sleep deprived momma really, really loved her snuggles tonight and REALLY needed them. Thanks little man. This week I grabbed some of these priceless shots of the little dude having fun at Sawyer Point. He is really starting to look like a little boy and less like a baby every day. Oh goodness, how the time flies!
We are planning on doing some relaxing, re-focusing careers (me, basically), but most of all getting ready for our trip. My bro's last day of Paramedic School is next Tuesday - so we will be Skype celebrating with him early next week. I will be gearing up for that one - butterflies already. This is such a BIG deal for him and his family! Love you bro!
what are your plans for the weekend? anything special to round out your summer?
Here are a few things that have perked my interest this past week:
Squarespace has changed my blogging life
I still use blogger to organize the writers I follow
99% Invisible is my new favorite podcast and work inspiration
Cheers!